"My soul is a mixtape
“Are you trying to recapture a past that no longer suits you?” she asked, as she starred deeply at me with concerned eyes.
Nervously, I smiled, as my throat swelled and chest began to harden. “Yes." I replied.
She lowered her chin to her chest as she peered over her glasses, “And why do you think that is?”
I took a moment to gain some courage, cleared my throat, and finally released, “because.. he revived me. He gave me a reason to live. And then, he took it away. He planted a beautiful bed of flowers within my heart and slowly, over time, started to neglect them more and more..
Until one day, I was abandoned with nothing but dried roots and unbearable grief. He fooled me into believing he would always return to feed my soul and instead made me question my existence. He betrayed me and ever since then, I have been left wondering if he’ll ever return to the garden he left vacant in my heart. Because I don’t know how to let go and I don’t know if I’ll ever want to.”
She looked at me, saddened by my response, and said,
“He may have given you a reason to push forward in the past, but he is not why you are still alive today. Your reason to live has always lied within you.
He did not take it with him, you just forgot what it was like to breathe on your own..
to grow, on your own.. love, on your own.
Rip out those dead roots and replant your own beautiful garden.
Shower it with love, gratitude, and acceptance every day.
Love yourself so deeply and let the love you harvest be your light.
Feed your soul with that light. And eventually, with time,
you will let go of what was and accept what is.”
*May is Mental Health Awareness month. If you, or anyone you may know, might be struggling with a mental illness, please remember to be kind to yourself and others. And remember, you are not alone.