Tears rolled down my cheek
Your lips pressed against mine
Tell me, how can I feel everything
and nothing
​at the same exact time?

Are you sure
the memory of your heart beating with mine was faint
you were a vivid yet distant nightmare I wanted to forget
Are you sure it was
your love, so pure
so refreshing
I could have died within your arms and
nothing else would have mattered
Are you sure it was nothing
because it took everything inside of me to peel myself off the floor
everything inside of me to wipe my tears once more
Are you sure it was nothing
because it made me feel like dying inside

​If he wanted you, love
he would be here now
it’s ok to remember back when
your love between one another
was the most beautiful shade
be grateful for the time
but let go of the immense love
you once shared;
let go of the lingering pain

If he wanted you, love
you would be there now
but all you can be is here
stop apologizing about not being enough
for him
because you were enough
you are enough
you will be enough, always

I said
I couldn't feel anything
Besides you pushing your stomach
against the small of my back
Making my fingertips dig into the edge of this bed 
I couldn't feel your heart beat
like I once felt with each motion
Couldn't feel 
Anything
But your breath on my neck
​while you pushed your face against the side of my cheek
I couldn't feel love
I couldn't feel anything
But me trying to stop these tears from rolling down my face 
You said
You couldn't feel anything
But my body hugging yours
You said
You couldn't feel anything
You said
You lived for me and now
You live for yourself
You said
"I think this is the end"
And for the first time since the last time you said
"I'll love you forever
I'll never leave your side"
I believed you

Cold
like when the New England ocean
crashes against your skin in spring
Blank
as if I tried to write
without any ink
paint with just a wet brush
leaving nothing but water marks
that will soon dry up
Your glass wall is shatter proof
a thousand miles between each touch
I could walk those thousand miles
but that probably still
wouldn't give me us