Sometimes in life, when that alarm clock goes off and you sluggishly roll over to hit snooze, you can't help but pause in dread and think, “not today, Satan” (aka, alarm clock, aka life, aka “snowstorm” in “spring”. Well, that day was today for me. I had just caught my 3rd cold, or whatever, of the season and was still recovering. And of course, today was meant to be my busiest day of the week. Good ‘ol hump day. My Wednesday’s start as followed: Teach Slow Flow yoga class at 9 to 10 AM. Break. Teach Stretch & Relax at 12:15 to 1 PM. Relax. Work from 5 to 1:30 AM. The end. Now, I hate to break it to you all, but I don’t ALWAYS enjoy yoga. And today I was secretly wishing to be snowed into my comfy apartment, sacrificing any money that could be made for my laziness and melancholy feels. But, then I remembered, I must be better than that. And so, I drove my ass to class. Once noon rolled around and the snow continued to pass and go, I knew the possibility of me having the night off at this point was probably not going to happen. And so, I accepted my possible fate. And continued to move forward with the easiest challenge of my day: teach my Stretch & Relax yoga /meditation class. Let me tell you, what happens next in this story was nothing less than extraordinary, and definitely not coincidental. Well, not to me anyways. You be the judge.. This woman, let’s call her Faith, had just started yoga and had no idea what to expect with my class seeing as she had never been to it before. Simply put, Stretch & Relax includes gentle yoga stretches and ends with a guided meditation. Little did me or Faith know, we both were meant to share what was to follow within the next hour as these unusual moments continued to unfold one after another. Starting with this one.. Faith was a little chatty. I could tell she had a lot to release.. A lot of pain, tension, and stress, which she was looking to let go of. My only assumption was that this was part of the reason why she had started yoga. Which makes my heart happy, so I felt grateful to have this woman let me be her guide. Well, during the stretching part of class Faith started talking about how she was trying to let go of the past and how she was reminded of this quote while doing my breathing exercise—“Exhale the past, inhale the future” she said, as she motioned with her hands up and down her body as if she was imagining herself exhaling her past and inhaling her future. Imagine to my surprise when Faith said this aloud and I remembered that that morning I had put on my shirt that has printed these EXACT lines on the sleeves. Of course, Faith didn’t know this because I was wearing a crewneck sweater over my shirt. My eyes grew wide as I confessed this “coincidental” occurrence to her as I began to take off my sweater and show her my shirt. If you know me, you know I fiend for these moments; I really enjoy those times that the universe perfectly aligns me with another. And in this particular moment, it just reassured me that I had to make sure I made this experience extra special. So, I quickly decided once we’d transition into the meditation part of class that I would use this quote as my theme. And so the weirdness continued.. When one is really open to letting their mind step back and breath take over, real magic happens. You notice things, things you maybe couldn’t notice before. You start let go of the ego, accept what is, and enter into the realm of “Samadhi”, aka Patanjali’s 8th and final limb of yoga. I touched on a few important things during this meditation; 1. Setting YOUR serene perfect scene. A place where you feel most at peace. 2. Repeating silently, my favorite affirmation: “You are already healed. You are already whole. You are love itself. You are peace itself.” (Thank you, Lena) 3. Chakra colors! (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Turquoise, Royal Blue, Purple) 4. Playing the singing bowls – my favorite. Now, let's fast-forward to the end of my guided meditation, where Faith and I shared her ultimate transcendental experience. With gentle tears in her eyes, Faith stated how she had a dear love for the ocean, so that was her place of choice. She began to explain how the ocean's salt water can be a very naturally healing thing. She voiced how even before I mentioned the affirmation, that she was having these thoughts of being healed. Well, Faith got even more freaked out when I started to ask her to repeat the affirmation which includes that line stating, “I am already healed”. “I started to think, ok! Is this girl in my head?!” We laughed. “And then”, she exclaimed, “before you even got into the colors, I was seeing purple!!” Little did Faith know, she was just as in tune with the present moment and her “pure consciousness” as I was. Purple ties into your crown chakra, which is located at the top of your head. I like to go with feeling, my gut, my “higher power” if you will, always. So, it wasn’t surprising to me that all these connections had been made in such a short period of time with a complete stranger. One thing I didn't mention out loud was that while I used my singing bowls on Faith, which happened to be at the end of the meditation, I felt a heavy pull to Faith’s head. This all made sense to me once she shared her experience, tying every lovely thread together. Needless to say, I also let go during my class. I let go of my desire to be lazy and depressed that I had to possibly go to work in shitty weather. I accepted what was and ultimately what was meant to be. Which is this moment right now. And every moment leading to now. The moment I spent alone in annoyance whilst I dragged my feet out of bed and to the studio. To the moment where I found peace and acceptance within while sharing such a divine experience with Faith. Leading to when I got the text that I would have the night off from work. And finally, to now. As my hands are at my keys. Sharing this very story with you. In fact, you too were meant to be wherever you are now, reading this very story. Ain’t that some shit? A very special thank you to Yoga On Union, the yoga studio that I teach at, for allowing this interaction to be possible. Juliet, you are the shit.
Also, thank you to Faith, for keeping my faith alive, reminding me that everything happens for a reason, and to find happiness in the simple things.. Oh, and also reminding me that I am one badass teacher. And last but not least, thank you thank you thank you, to Lakshmi Rising for being that beaconing light that helped shine all this special knowledge into my head... Liz & Lena, all my gratitude to you two very magical women. Namaste.
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Life has a funny way of testing us. Have ya noticed yet? As we enter into the beginning of another year, contemplation settles and new goals manifest as we begin to ask ourselves, “What can I do better?” For me, 2017 was one of many lessons. A time of learning to let go and welcome in. A time to heal, grow, and simply allow myself to take a break and just BREATHE. “ If you honour your pain it will change your life ” - Tori Hartman This past fall I was involved in a car accident. Minor, yes, but I have trauma from past accidents and was having one hell of a month. So, in my head, this was another obstacle unexpectedly being thrown in my way that I did not need. The universe, however, disagreed. I was alive. No one was injured. But the sequences of staggering events were now lying heavy on my chest. It became hard to breathe. Hard to think. My anxiety was through the roof. I was close to having a mental breakdown. But in that moment, all I could do was try to breathe through it all. Slow, deep long breaths. I fought back the tears. For one, because I was with a friend who doesn’t do well with emotionally indecisive wrecks like me, and two, it really could have been so much worse. But people like me who suffer from anxiety know that the severity of the situation that triggers the anxiety in that moment doesn’t necessarily matter. I was in over my head. And despite it all, I was successfully able to calm myself down with doing that one thing most of us take for granted. That one thing that I gratefully learned how to warp into my own therapy session.. Breathe.It wasn’t until hours later that I realized that breathing really has truly become my medicine. That if I hadn’t been practicing meditation and wasn’t given the proper tools to overcome these moments of depression and anxiety, that I would still be in a much darker, colder place. Hell, who knows if I’d even still be alive. Yes, even yoga instructors like me have our days of depletion and questioning whether or not we are capable of letting go and being that “perfect” mirror for those who come to us for guidance. In the midst of me trying to better myself and be the teacher everyone needs me to be, I’ll be the first to admit that I too have my demons and I am not perfect. But here’s the thing we sometimes forget, nobody is. While flipping through Netflix one day, trying to find the next murder mystery show to obsessively distract myself with, I came across the documentary “On Meditation” -- A modern day intro into meditation, using well-known individuals who have found peace through their practice. At the time I was reading “Real Happiness”, a book on “the power of meditation”, by Sharon Salzberg, Conveniently enough, one of the speakers on the show was Sharon Salzburg herself. In this documentary, she shared one of her secrets that made me smile and also brought me back to my first time practicing the very special LovingKindness Meditation in Costa Rica. She confessed how, at times, while wandering the streets during her passing of strangers and such, she would simply say a prayer in her head for these individuals who would cross her path. With a smile, she would say to herself with the best intentions of it telepathically reaching the other, “May you be happy, may you be peaceful”. This made my heart melt. And inspired me to do the same. And so, here I am. Full circle. Learning real happiness. Practicing compassion. Healing my wounds. And learning to make the most out of the thing I am most grateful for, the ability to breathe and the will to teach others how to do the same. It was that day that I got into a car accident that really solidified some very important things for me. Some of which I was already aware of and had forgotten.. The power of meditation is real and everyone has the ability to use it to help themselves and reach others. Through time, love, and kindness, wounds do heal. And when we can learn how to feel our feels and let them go with grace, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when we find real happiness. That’s when we can simply walk down the street and look at a stranger, or an enemy, with a genuine smile and a warm heart and mean it when we say, “May you be happy, may you be peaceful”. photocred: jared.anderton And so, on that note, I wish you all happiness, peace, and growth this 2018. Time waits for no one. In order to heal, we must forgive. In order to grow, we must let go. If you too are interested in meditation and are looking for someone to help be a guide, a beacon of light.. I open my arms to you.
P.S. Happy first Full Moon of 2018! What luck, on the first day of the year! Perfect time to take that energy and transition into your own. All the love xx Are you sure the memory of your heart beating with mine was faint you were a vivid yet distant nightmare I wanted to forget Are you sure it was your love, so pure so refreshing I could have died within your arms and nothing else would have mattered Are you sure it was nothing because it took everything inside of me to peel myself off the floor everything inside of me to wipe my tears once more Are you sure it was nothing because it made me feel like dying inside inspired by Tame Impala : Love/Paranoia
Short Short Story “You love him too much”, she voiced in concern.
I did love you too much. “If he hurts you, I'll kill him”, her lips pursed. I laughed, I didn’t want to imagine this. With each beautiful touch, I believed him. I believed he wouldn’t dare. Why would he want to? He treated me like a Queen. Oh, but she was right. I went from his everything, to nothing in the midst of a fist that I had thrown while drowning in his lies. How dare he. How could he? I hated him. I hated him for disrespecting the one thing I asked for: Honesty. I hated him for being almost perfect and something that I had never experienced. Something that I grew to believe I couldn’t live without. I hated him for his differences that made me fall so deeply into his arms to the point where I didn’t know how to not be within his embrace. I hated him for abandoning me when he promised he wouldn’t. I loved you too much. I loved you more than I loved myself. And that was my first problem. So yes, I loved you. I hated you. And now you’re dead. What a time for change and new beginnings! Summer is coming to an end. And for some of us, you might have found that this past month was a little more trying than usual. Maybe you found yourself doing a lot of reflecting and evaluating of your life than you probably typically do. Well, if you didn’t already know, Mercury was in Retrograde from August 12th to September 5th. I know what you’re thinking, “what’s it to me?” Well if you believe in the universe and its forces, then it’s everything to you. And if you don’t, it’s still relevant. But! Continue on reading if you wish to explore the fruition that may root from the mental madness. During Mercury’s Retrograde, you may have made some important necessary connections for moving forward productively. Understanding the world around you on an internal and external level is necessary for change. Yes, change is required for growth. Unless we wish to stay stagnant and ignorant, we must push ourselves through times of discomfort and rise again each time we fall! Carrying through, hopefully you’re learning a little more about yourself “and why some things must be unveiled so we may move forward unencumbered by old inhibitions” during this time (Robert Wilkinson). As we exited this retrograde in Virgo, we entered into September’s Full Moon in Pisces immediately after. And what a beautiful moon it was! This timing is essential to work out the knots and act on the now. Some of you Pisces out there might be on high alert. Your energies may have amplified; Use the power of the universe to invest in your purpose and higher self. We should all utilize this Full Moon to release any negativity, trust our intuition and allow our creative flow to pave the way for success. With the solar eclipse’s recent passing two weeks prior and fall approaching in two weeks as well, the universe is asking us to explore our deepest desires and feel the feels while we learn to heal and manifest what lies within our hearts. Allow your soul searching to branch out and accept all to come with open arms! Whatever you are currently feeling, wanting, needing, explore it! Give your mind, body, and soul what it needs. photocred: The Hoodwitch Be kind to yourself and others. Lend a helping hand to those in need while Mother Nature welcomes in destruction. Remember, with each tragedy something beautiful is given the opportunity to unfold. During these trying times, all communities should continue to come together to rebuild within renewal. We cannot control the weather, but we can choose to move with it and allow destruction to take its course so that we may begin again.
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